KJ

I don't know... it was all too perky and felt too preppy for a girl who's been labeled girl-behind-a-book. It may be just me, though. I'm a serious reader, and ...

Only thing I found was this: D. r. a. g. o. n Normally, since someone is is spelling out loud, it would be: D-R-A-G-O-N. I enjoyed this. I genuinely hope ...

I really liked this. You have good detail and character development. The only thing I have to say that's negative--and this may be just me--but I thought you had a ...

Hey. I think you need a way better hook. I got bored and didn't even finish it. Sorry. The day that everything changed, that’s day that everyone remembers. This doesn't ...

Hey Ash. I know that you're pretty much done with this piece, and you're not coming back to it, but just wanted to tell you to keep writing. It wasn't ...

Hey. I liked this. But like Loose, I had a problem with that chunk of words before the chapter began. I think you should just cut it entirely. Otherwise, it ...

Need spacing and commas. And I would recommend that you at least take the time to correctly spell and capitalize your title--you might get more reviews that way. Don't have ...

It wasn't bad. But one thing bothered me. At first the mother was all, "Oh come here my dear" and then when her daughter expressed sadness at her leaving she ...

This probably belongs in the Narrative Poetry section. It was interesting. It seemed realistic, which I liked.

Hated all the exclamation points. Capitalization needs work, also. Was way too short to really develop an opinion about this. But what I did read I did not like. It ...

I liked the dark beginning. And it's a good start for a plot. But who is the MC? I know we're with an old man now. But there should be ...

Need spacing. Really, really, need spacing. I also think that you should just cut that entire chunk of paragraph before the story begins. It's a good idea, it just needs ...

One hope. One way to cope. Didn't like how this rhymed. Overall, I had no idea what was going on. I know you just explained, but you shouldn't have to ...

This was kind of dull. There were a lot of grammar mistakes. And the fact that he actually said something out loud when he was sneaking out is unrealistic. I ...

Kind of confusing. But I liked your dialogue.