KJ

Hey. I realize this was posted a while ago, but it was on the main page so I read it anyway. It's a good start. I have only two problems ...

Hello. Just wanted you to know that I really, really, liked this. It was eerie and, if you're of a nervous disposition, it makes you shiver. I didn't think it ...

My eyes hurt from reading that. Should try pressing "Enter" or "Return" twice after you've finished a paragraph. About your story. I thought it... interesting. Very creative, even though I ...

I have to agree with Heidigirl666 and Prokaryote on this. I thought it was dull and tedious. Very hard for me to get through. You have an interesting style in ...

Hey. This wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. The title bothered me first off. It's been used, already, by Superchick. I know that song titles generally are reused much ...

It was okay. But... I really can't picture Edward squealing. It takes away from his elegance...

Not bad. I don't know why you posted the blood warning, since there wasn't all that much. I was expecting like a gruesome, disgusting, totally descriptive gut-wrenching war or something. ...

Hello. You were very kind when you reviewed one of my pieces, and since I love good reviews, I will try to return the favor. This was very creative. I ...

I think that your character development needs a ton of work. And it DOES all go way too fast. Drag it out a little, make it interesting. Add some scandal, ...

To be honest, I got bored. Didn't even read it all. Maybe you should try changing your hook. The reason I opened this was because I thought your title was ...

Cool, I'm the first one to comment. Okay, so overall, it was pretty good. Interesting idea. But to be honest, even though I thought the details were pretty and insightful, ...

First off, I noticed that you say "mother" quite a bit. Try to tone it down. And this soldier is just too wistful and... well, wimpy, I guess. He's a ...

I thought that there was too much narrative in the beginning. Maybe you should consider cutting all that and adding it gradually throughout in a steady flow, or in a ...

I knew it was a mistake from the moment he dragged me into it all. The prank was supposed to be just that, a prank. But it turned out to ...

Thanks. Makes me feel really good :)