KJ

Ummm, were you typing really fast or something? Because you had a ton of grammar and punctuation mistakes in there. I don't have time to point them out, but I'm ...

I’ve grown used to the sound of the bombs. Each one echoes in my mind with a constant thrumming. I scratch my chest, and the mud caked on my skin ...

First thing I have to say is that you need spacing. Moving on. Overall, I thought this piece decent. I kind of got bored, but maybe that's just in the ...

I'm not entirely sure I liked this. So you've begun a story about an anorexic girl. Okay. So what are you going to do to make this piece, out of ...

Hello. Uh, no, I really had no idea what was going on. You had some cool descriptions, and they would have been even better if I'd known what was happening. ...

:wink:

Ummm... Disturbing. To say in the least. And what kind of club is this? And why would these two girls want to be in it bad enough to give a ...

Some interesting concepts about death. I would have written some more before posting, however. Normally even Prologue's aren't this short. And spacing would be amazing. So, ummm, what is this? ...

:wink:

I very much would like to read this, but there isn't enough spacing. Maybe I have sensitive eyes or something, but it's too hard to read.

It was okay, only I didn't like the beginning. Too common, starting something out with someone getting out of bed. But the rest was, as I said, okay.

Hello. Just wanted to point a few things out. "Marie, I don't want you to go." Anthony said sadly. You often end these types of sentences with periods. Try a ...

I began to read it, but the spacing hurt my eyes. I did get to the part where she told the guy the dog had a limp, and she laughed. ...

Agree with the others. Too much description. But it is lovely. Only problem I have is spacing, and one part should be in Italics. Other than that, it was great. ...

Hey. Okay, I really liked this. I think it was better than your first chapter. I had absolutely no problem with it save one: I do not think that the ...