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KJ

  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: The Device

    I like to know what it going on in a story before giving an opinion. So I really can't on this. It was unclear and vague. If you meant it ...

    Mar 31, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Surprise

    To be honest, I didn't really like it. I found it mostly dull, and nothing struck me about it. The biggest problem I had with it was your beginning - ...

    Mar 31, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Surprise

    To be honest, I didn't really like it. I found it mostly dull, and nothing struck me about it. The biggest problem I had with it was your beginning - ...

    Mar 31, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Victoria and in First person

    It was interesting. A pretty intriguing start. You NEED spacing, badly. Have no more time to say anything else, but I did like it.

    Mar 31, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: The Downfall of Dandelion Kingdom

    This was a really neat idea. I liked it. But I would like to know more about your MC. Perhaps a bit more background and dialogue between her and her ...

    Mar 31, 2008
  • Historical Fiction Short Stories Re: Broken Bones

    I really have nothing negative to say and everyone else covered the critiques. So here's what I have to say: I liked your descriptions, a lot. Keep writing.

    Mar 31, 2008
  • Action/Adventure Short Stories Re: The Darkness Within

    Need spacing. I can't read anything this clumped together.

    Mar 31, 2008
  • Action/Adventure Novels Re: A Summer To Remember-- Prologue

    Did you two do the eyeball avatars on purpose? Just curious... Anyway. I thought this was pretty well-written. However, I would just cut all the narrative in the beginning and ...

    Mar 31, 2008
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: draft

    Hello. Very creative, I have to say. However, I felt that it was a bit confusing. I also felt that there were too many loose ends - of course you ...

    Mar 31, 2008
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: Curtsy

    This was pretty good. I have almost nothing negative to say. The only problem I had was your hook - the very first line. Instead of saying Sunday night downtown, ...

    Mar 31, 2008
  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: Dragon Bait #4

    You did it again. I loved it. Can't wait for the next one. Get writing so I don't have to! =P

    Mar 31, 2008
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: beautiful black and white

    I like this. Interesting ideas. Very bittersweet. The only thing I did not like was the whole black-and-white thing. I felt that it took away from the story.

    Mar 31, 2008
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: English Skies

    Hey Ash. There were only a couple things I noticed - but as you know I don't really have time to go and fully critique it. My overall impression: Great. ...

    Mar 31, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Short Story-ish

    This was pretty short. Is it meant as a chapter, prologue, or forst part of just a short story? As to my opinion, I thought that it was decently written. ...

    Mar 29, 2008
  • Historical Fiction Short Stories Re: Fireworks for the War (Edited)

    Samuel Garrison - Those are some excellent points. Thanks. I'll get to work on them soon. As to a question and a statement you made: Was Alpha Six a real ...

    Mar 29, 2008


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