KJ

I thought this confusing and I wondered what exactly the point of it was. Are you trying to tell us that she isn't good at school work? That her and ...

I liked this. You have some good description and interesting little details. There were only two things I had a problem with: why does this girl pretend? Does she hate ...

Didn't the piece remind you of it a little?

Hey. As to your punctuation and grammar, I spotted nothing. As to the actual writing... I wondered at the point of it. I felt confused. You had some good description. ...

Hey. Overall, this was very well-written. However, I found myself bored because there was so much narrative. I would suggest dialogue, helpful descriptions, less details. You don't have to tell ...

Really cute. Loved them all... mainly just because they each had an adorable kitten in each one. :P

I liked the second one the best. It'd be cool if we actually used it on the site someday...

It's probably just me. Everyone else seemed to like it. It reminded me strongly of the movie Pleasantville, and that's why it annoyed me, I think. In the movie everything ...

Wow there was a huge amount of narrative in there. I didn't much like that. I usually like showing rather than telling. May I suggest dialogue? But other than that, ...

Hey. I just wanted to let you know that I liked this. The only thing I didn't particularly like was your hook. Wasn't striking enough, it seemed like. But I ...

Hey. I would add much more spacing to this to make it easier to read, and maybe shortening the length would also help. It's so long, and I haven't the ...

I would suggest posting your story in seperate parts, not all just on one page.

Hey Kool. While this addition was not utterly necessary to your story, I loved it. As Kitty said, it gives us some depth of both characters. I'm kind of developing ...

Interesting. I notice that you use the name Crissiphone in everything you write. Something different would be good. On to your actual writing. What they were doing outside of the ...

I mostly agree with the others. But... it may be just me, but I thought it was a little dull. I got sidetracked and forced myself to focus much of ...