KJ

Those letters were not something a child around this age-range would see, or even understand. You're writing this diary with someone much older in mind, I think. This addition was ...

Hi. Again, feels like someone older than a small child writing this. Aside form the vocabulary and the actual writing, the writer has an understanding of worldly circumstance that a ...

Hey. Now, I liked this addition. But - and this may be just me - I felt it was too mature of writing for a kindergarten-level kid. Other than that, ...

Hey. I also agree that the simplicity of Donald just adds to who he is as a character. It was completely believable that he is a child. Children don't notice ...

Hey. I don't have much time, but I wanted to comment. This was okay. Not bad, but not astounding either. It was an interesting beginning. Mind you, there was nothing ...

I don't know. To be honest, this still doesn't do it for me. There's nothing UNIQUE about it. It IS better as a hook and a beginning, granted, but it ...

Hey. I see that this was posted a LONG time ago, but I'm going to comment like I always would. I don't have much to say: This was very well-written. ...

Hey. I'm warning you now: I find that I'm being pretty harsh on this. So please prepare yourself. Two most-noticeable things: You need major spacing, and you have far too ...

You don't sound needy. What I would do, to make it more clear about the memorial, is not to make the boy stumble into the "rock". I would have had ...

Hey. I realize this was posted a while ago, and you've already turned it in, but I read it and wanted to comment. The only thing I noticed was this: ...

Hey! Sorry I haven't said anything about this - I didn't even realize you'd put it on here. You need to PM me or something so I know next time ...

I genuinely enjoyed this. It is well-written and you did well with your descriptions this time. The only thing that I found wrong - and this may be just me ...

This was pretty good. You have good description and I enjoyed the beginning of the plot. You kept it moving, which is also good. I caught nothing to point out, ...

Sorry to be so unhelpful - I liked it a ton. Very well-written, creative, and excellent in practically every way. So sorry.

As Hopey pointed out, there are many spelling errors. I'm going to be completely honest - this didn't do it for me. I felt there was way too much description, ...