KJ

Chapter One They assigned Jeff to watch over me for the night. It was an odd feeling, pitying the guard standing over you. But I did pity him, even as ...

Hey Ash. Two things. One, about how your MC asked Carmen how him and Nora were. That's a question, I feel, that you ask someone asfter they've been dating a ...

I don’t know how long a sit there. I sat there “Did he rather stay with you?” Awkward wording. All in all, loved it. But very sad, Ash. You ruined ...

Hey Ash. Just a few things. First, the part where you described Carmen's eyes as liquid gold. That instantly brought Edward of Twilight to mind, considering he had golden eyes. ...

Hello. :) Well, I certainly like the MC's cocky, attention-grabbing narrative. This is very creative and unique. I can say that I geniunely enjoyed it. I guess I was reading ...

Ash- You're such a dork :) I laughed when I read your message. Thanks for the compliments, my friend. And if you ever stop writing I'll come over with a ...

Hello. Just as the others have stated, this was very well-written and excellent. I really found no nitpicks, but there was one MAJOR thing I saw that no one else ...

Hey Ash. Love the rewrite. I actually read the whole thing! lol. It was very interesting. I'm excited to see more of this. Only thing I can really nitpick is ...

Okay, I will make it my SOLE RESPONSIBILITY to read your PR chapters. Happy? This is going to take forever, so bear with me.

Hello, my friend. Hee-hee, I've already read and corrected this. I think I corrected it, at least. I know I got lazy and failed to correct one of these chapters.... ...

Hello. Since I did not find anything to critique that Thunder didn't cover, I'll just give you my overall impression: I loved it. I think this is one of the ...

Angel: Thanks, a lot. I really appreciate it. And yes, I am continuing it, right now as a matter of fact, And no, Mark is no relation. There is something ...

Edited as of 6-22-09. Wow, it's been a long time since I've worked on this! I've only just now started to get a passion for it again. Weird, huh? Anyway, ...

NITPICKS: Some were staring flat out at her, some were turning their haughty noses up; she looked like a simple farm girl, with her plain smock and lank black hair, ...

Okay, I am warning you in ADVANCE - it is LONG. And hopefully you like that, because I know you never want it to end, right? RIGHT? By the way... ...