KJ

Chapter Five Before the judgement The bonfire and the Pack shrank behind me as I darted through the woods. I didn’t know where I was going; I just had to ...

*EDITED*

Hey. So I edited the Prologue and Chap. 1 for you. My overall impression is... it was decent. Not bad, writing style fine, and I liked your characters. However, there ...

Yeah, because I have no idea what that means. But whatever, I'm tired of "talking" to you. Have fun with your oh-so-different writing. I wish you the best of luck.

Chapter Four Present Time Though I’d grown up my entire life among the forest, the trees frightened me as I ran. They seemed like cold, distant strangers rather than the ...

Bishop- You won't be getting any more critiques from me. And "chill", as you would say, with the ridiculous "don't push people out" thing. It's you who's doing the "pushing" ...

Wow, I'm feeling a little hostility here... I don't like the way you're handling things. And, ummm, Bishop? You've been basically arguing with every single critique you've gotten. That's a ...

Thanks you guys. I'm glad you like it :) Chap. 7 is coming sometime soon. Not quite sure when as of yet...

The dragon was very abrupt... I didn't really like the dialogue between Emma and the man. It's too modern-day. Now I realize that these people have knowledge of our world, ...

Another good addition. However - yes, there is ALWAYS a however - there were three problems. One, the punctuation. Yes, there is ALWAYS punctuation problems :). You forget quotation marks ...

This was a good beginning. Really, I enjoyed it. Despite the fact that many of the scenes didn't really seem to have a clear point to them, your MC's wry ...

Chapter Six He was speaking to me. He was looking at me. He could see me. My mind couldn’t comprehend it. I didn’t believe my own eyes, or trust my ...

Hey. To begin with the nesgative, I had three problems with this: Bad punctuation, you have a tendency to repeat yourself, and state the obvious. Puncuation is vital. It's important ...

Ash- Don't be disappointed with yourself :( You'll get that perfect beginning. Remember me telling you that I had about SIX differnt beginnings for As Black as Raven? Yeah, and ...

Hey Ash. I guess I don't really know what to think. (But I DO know where you got your inspiration, tee-hee. In the car that day, going to see the ...