KJ

Hey Ash. I'm glad you finally got around to posting this. Took you long enough :) Okay, so the comma thing. You're missing them where they should be some and ...

I don't think this is a Prologue - it seems more like a Preface. And it's fine. It's attention-grabbing, and intriguing. My advice to you would to add some insight ...

Chapter Nine Present Time I was a weak wolf. I knew what I should do; what I had to do. But Dane’s eyes had been on my mind the entire ...

Ash- I've already read this. I believe you printed it off for me. And I feel bad, but I'm going to be honest: I don't particularly like this chapter. Isadora ...

Chapter Nine The next day Caiden talked incessantly. He told me about all the concerts he had been to. Apparently it had been almost a hobby with him when he ...

You asked me to review this quite a while ago, and I know it's shameful that I haven't gotten to it until now. But here I finally am, as promised, ...

I know, it only took months. Hope you like the addition.

Yes, there is more. Happy reading. Chapter Eight There was nothing to do. The men were still in the Meeting cabin, discussing the rules and regulations of the Challenge. Harriet ...

It was hers now, now that her Father was dead. Here’s an opportunity to show Jo’s emotions. As stated, it is lacking in this story. How does Jo feel about ...

1. Is it still interesting? Interesting would be the perfect word for it, yes. It’s not exciting, but it does make the reader curious and desire a bit more. 2. ...

Gradually, as they had made their way up the cobblestone road each man had departed, either for a different tavern or because some pretty whore had caught their eye. Comma ...

Decided to edit another chapter today. Also, I’ve pointed out where you’re missing commas, instead of just telling you you’re missing them. Thought it would be more helpful. As predicted ...

Mor and Ash - Thanks for your reviews. I'm afraid it's getting boring or something, because less people are critiquing :( I'll make the suggested changes ASAP. Not now, because ...

Merchants would hurry down to check out the cargo Just a tiny nitpicks, but "check out" seems too mondern a phrase for a story in this time setting. “Alright men ...

She yawned and stretched, her oval face tilted towards the sun who spilled generously across her features I don't like the word use of 'who'. I would use something like ...