KJ

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I would suggest work on the hands - they could be way more realistic. Make them stand out; they're placed so prettily, it will only add to the drawing. Otherwise ...

Uh... her sideburn is kind of creepy. What I like most abotu this is her eye - it sticks out the most. But since this is all about her hair, ...

I think the first eye would have been way better without the stars in it - that just made it seem, for lack of a better word, childish. Otherwise they're ...

Marcus’ [Should be s after comma] horse danced lightly through the scattered trees to get to me. He greeted the other men along the way, but I could see in ...

I adit to skimming - I don't know if it is just the mood I'm in, but this didn't capture my interest all that well. Though I normally don't begin ...

So Esme and the others relatively covered all the grammar/punctuation part. I'll just fill your ears with opinionated babble. As beginnings go, I admit I wasn't satisfied. The sentences were ...

Those of you who know my work, you'll recognize this as a shortened version of Needles and Roses (already posted in Advanced Critiques). Yes, I changed the title - I ...

Okay, so I'm going to be extremely nit-picky, just because I'm in the mood. You've been warned :) Cassandra Montgomery dodged into the Red Carpet Club I don't like the ...

Well, I read this from beginning to end, so you must be doing something right :) I didn't really see anything worth pointing out, but there is one suggestion I ...

“W-what’s your n-name?” The man asked as he studied the girl’s face with the same detached amusement. This nitpick is shamefully minor, but the t should not be capatilized. He ...

I don't know if this is just me, but I feel like the story is going all over the place. I don't know.

The promised critique. Sorry it took so long. “Alright, alright, I’m coming!” Should be all right . “I think so,” she smiled mischievously. Can't smile words. Period instead of comma. ...

Life is okay :) Thanks for asking. Okay, so my main problem with this was - not grammar, as you stated - but sentence structure. Oh, it was all correct ...

Hope you like it - it's rough, keep in mind.