KJ

Angel of Death: Wow, thanks :oops: You make me want to post the next chapter right now! :roll: But again, thanks for reading. The next chapter is already written and ...

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Hmmm... I'm not crazy about it. Don't get me wrong - I like the feather, and the mountain-like thing... but the blue sky doesn't do it for me. I mean, ...

Wow, I really like this. But there are a lot of problems with it. Punctuation, tense, and sentence structure. You are missing commas and capitalization. If you need help knowing ...

There were some punctuation errors. There should always be a space after the ...'s. Honestly, I didn't like this. There was no detail, no sense of setting or the character's ...

Moon, since you're the only one left following this, this is for you! Better like it :wink:

Wow, I like the title :) That's what caught my attention... Now, I pretty much skimmed this. Yeah, I'm admitting it. Why? Because I think your beginning needs a lot ...

Has a lot of potential :) I would suggest somehow separating the three paragraphs in a more obvious way. Perhaps insert a few of these between each, so we know ...

Very interesting. I like the imagination, and I think that this has a ton of potential. One of my suggestions for change, however, is the dialogue. I mean, these teenagers ...

Mike: Nic is a girl... I'll have to make that more clear, I guess. As to detail, and all that - this is an extremely short chapter. I intend to ...

I kept this short, because shorter pieces generally lead to more reviews. So I hope you like what there is. If I have enough positive feedback, I'll probably continue... Chapter ...

LittleBitCold: I was the one who critiqued all of AshleyLee's chapters, so technically I was the one who "flooded the hole genre" with her edited chapters. And by the way, ...

Hey ATreeah. So I finally got around to taking a look at some of your work. While I do think the storyline is interesting, and it has a lot of ...

First off - though I feel bad beginning this with negative comments - your sentence structure was awful. All over the place. The first thing I would suggest working on ...

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