KJ

My nitpicks: Oh, if I only could turn back time and undo moments that I later regretted. This is a little too melodramatic, especially for a beginning. I would cut ...

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I feel like this is really unorganized. Your MC's mind is going everywhere all at once. You need smoother transitions, and make sure everything is all connected and makes sense ...

Sorry :roll: Didn't mean to embarass y'all

To begin with the negative, you mention blood way too much. We get it, it's a battlefield; it's going to be bloody. Second, your wording. This seems to me like ...

I didn't spot any typos or grammar errors that hadn't already been pointed out, so guess I'll just give you my overall opinion: I don't really understand the butterflies. No ...

Isaac climbed the stairs warily, his fingers gently intertwining with Lara’s. He looked back at her for a split second. What was he doing? [This should probably be in Italics] ...

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JC: Thanks for your helpful review. It was kind, constructive, and was complimentary at the same time, and I haven't had one of those for a while, so thanks again. ...

The only thing I really noticed that stuck out like a sore thumb was this: The young guard stood their shifting from foot to foot as he waited for Evelyn ...

So this newest story of mine hasn't gotten too many positive reviews, and I debated on not posting it at all, but I'm hoping that the further the story goes, ...

Need to watch your tenses. You switch back and forth between the two. I'll be back to work on this critique in a bit.

Here as you requested, as a thanks for your previous reviews to my work :) They weren't cruel, but rather gentel and kind Gentle , not gentel . And I ...

Something I forgot to mention in Part One: Olaf's name. It just doesn't work for me, because of A Series of Unfortunate Events. Count Olaf? You read it? Well, it ...