KJ

Well I don't know much about Pokemon, but this looks good from what I've seen of them. What originality did you add, out of curiosity?

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It’s odd; I find it easy to remember the planes and angles of his face, and the deep timbre of his voice, but can’t quite recall the vivid memory of ...

*Edited yet again* Thank you for the top-notch suggestions :)

It's rough, yes. And that's why I need your guys' help.:). Thanks for reading. Chapter Three The sun was about to rise, and I obviously couldn’t leave in broad daylight. ...

This was quite short, and I was only able to find a couple things: How could someone this beautiful be so evil? This seems to me like it has been ...

*Edited yet again* Thanks for all suggestions, people :)

*Edited yet again* I took your excellent suggestions into consideration, JC, and added a few of my own changes. Much thanks. And thank you to everyone else who is following ...

Hello, my friend. Two things, and they're both about the title. One, Fire and Ice is really name of the troll story in my portfolio - Sweat and Ice - ...

Beams of light struck out backsides and made our shirts cling to us like a second skin. "Struck out" is weird wording combined with the rest. Rework. Her accent was ...

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Just stating my opinion here, despite the fact that this isn't a group discussion. Stephenie Meyer is like the rest of the world: Human. She's not perfect, and okay, she's ...

Finishing, absuloutely. There's no other satisfaction quite so fulfilling as when you type the final period in the final sentence. There's just accomplishement and release. WHOOSH! I'M DONE!

What, uh, was this? Wasn't the title of the post Chapter One? This wasn't a chapter. It wasn't much of anything, actually. I'm not trying to be mean, so if ...

While I think this has a lot of potential, it doesn't seem like a beginning of a story, if that's what you're going for. The last line seemed out of ...