KJ

Okay. So I printed off and read all your chapters, as promised. Sorry it took me so long, but you were warned! :wink: Now, I pondered on whether I should ...

Hey Ash. As I said to you before, I love the actual writing. There are some flaws, of course, just like any beginning. A FEW NITPICKS: The carriage came to ...

:) Thanks for reading, Merry. And you didn't offend me - I would HOPE you feel that way about a psychotic killer. It just means I've done my job as ...

I shortened this chapter because it was getting too long for YWS. So if the ending feels abrupt, that's why. Enjoy the read. Chapter Two Millie had been baking. The ...

So I know this idea has been done, like the whole Nightmare on Elmstreet deal, but I'm trying to give it a different twist. It's long, just to warn you ...

Stella: Thank you. You're magnificant. Some good food for thought, and you pointed out some thigns no one else did. How do you do it? GIVE ME MORE, missy!

The wind tosses the traces back toward his teammates. As others pointed out, traces of what? This was short and pointless. You began the story, sure, but left if completely ...

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On an evening as dark as soot and as chilled as death, two men were walking down the road. They were haggard, with [ Wearing would be better than with ...

A brother and sister stood out in their front yard. The leaves quivered at the wind’s mercy as winds blew [You say winds twice in this sentence - try to ...

While I like the idea you've got going here - with some development, this could be pretty good - there are areas where there is lacking. You need more commas, ...

I liked it :) There were some punctuation mistakes that I noticed, but if you just reread (which you're supposed to do before posting) then I'm sure you'll catch them. ...

I don't know if I'm going to continue this. I haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd see if anyone liked this new one. Happy reading. CHAPTER ONE ...

Thanks for all the helpful reviews, guys :)