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Re: From the Thunder - 1.1 (Edited 12/15)
EDITED Let me know if the grammar is better :)
Dec 16, 2010 -
Re: From the Thunder - 1.1 (Edited 12/15)
Chapter One To fight is to not. To not let your opponent to see your emotions, to not let them anticipate your next move. To not show mercy, to not ...
Dec 5, 2010 -
Re: This Sweetness Brought - 1.1
Demon and Beast William Butler Yeats For certain minutes at the least That crafty demon and that loud beast That plague me day and night Ran out of my sight; ...
Apr 14, 2010 -
Re: The Canvas Room
Hi. Since you've had nitpicks and plot reviews, I just wanted to give you my take on the style here. First off, I love the way you began. Usually I ...
Apr 13, 2010 -
Re: Untitled, Chapter One; Corren (edited)
Since this is so short, I'm going to be really picky! The blanket of fog over the port was the early grey of dawn. The air hung heavy with moisture, ...
Apr 13, 2010 -
Re: Love James - beginning
Hi :) I really like how open you left this. At the end of the chapter there are so many possibilities, so many places this story could go. I'm excited ...
Feb 5, 2010 -
Re: The Tears
Hello, KJ. At first I have to admit I didn't find the poem very interesting. It had some nice imagery from the beginning, but it seemed to be like so ...
Feb 4, 2010 -
Re: The Empty Jar
Clear and empty, standing tall, Fragile glass that light falls through. Clink, clink. So many possibilities, like grains of sand on a beach. The empty jar calls, pleads, lonely beyond ...
Feb 3, 2010 -
Re: The Tears
Cobwebs in the corners darkness filled the air I crept in like a fog uncertain and insubstansial. Your sobs were tiny and dry your body a lump The bed once ...
Feb 3, 2010 -
Re: Spirit Sword- chapter 1
I drew my sword, shut my eyes , and listened. All I could hear was my own breathing and that was it . Then all of a sudden I heard ...
Jan 27, 2010 -
Re: Deadly Secrets- Prologue
Well, this was short - maybe too short to really give you a thorough review about the piece. Your plot has only emerged the tinsiest bit and there's not much ...
Jan 27, 2010 -
Re: The Golden After - 1.1
Chapter One “Akelda.” She didn’t know how to tell me. I watched her struggle inside, opening and closing her mouth like a dying fish. I didn’t help her. The pain ...
Jan 25, 2010 -
Re: The Last Chance Prolouge
Elena stared blankly at the wall [Where is she? Is she staring at a classroom wall?] . The moment when he, Daniel, the most popular guy in school had asked ...
Jan 25, 2010 -
Re: Because - Chap. 32 & 33
Hey, this is a quickie review (sorry, I'll try my best to do a better one later). I just wanted you to know I'm still reading and loving every bit ...
Jan 15, 2010 -
Re: The Experiment - Chap. 10
This is the best story ever!! Keep writing!! I love it!!! :elephant: Thanks :) New chapter is up.
Jan 13, 2010
