JumpyDot

Nah fam. I wish for whoever responds to this, to do it with a link to Heaven by Talking Heads.

Granted, but you stifle a new generation of interesting members and the old ones are quickly revealed as tired of this site, grown out of it. You're essentially holding them ...

Granted, but you're the most hated person on the site, surpassing even the all-time greats of Keemstar and Onision to create a new level of hatred. Covfefe.

Granted, but it's only cause you were erased from history. I wish there was a vaccine to cure racism.

Granted, but you're burnt as a witch. I wish for three wishes. The second wish is for understanding in math, because right now I'm frighteningly lost. The third is for ...

Granted, but no one likes your food, and you die an unrecognized genius, who's food is only eventually appreciated by cyborg space aliens. I wish I knew the muffin man

Granted, but your movie's terrible. I wish to become king of the universe and everything therein for one thousand yearssssssss

Granted, but they're terrible. I wish my nose wasn't stocked up. I wanna take a nap...

Granted, but you're lips disappear. I wish I had three incorruptible wishes, not including this one.

Granted, but you've developed a sudden deadly intolerance to alcohol. I wish I was talented at something.

Granted, but none of the memories are yours. You spend the rest of your life remembering only other people's, never forming memories of your own. I wish the corruption of ...

Granted, but a madman is watching you... I wish I had a million dollars and a good savings plan.

Granted, but the price of everything else skyrockets, and you can never afford anything other than scotch. You die of hunger. I wish I wasn't addicted to this thread :P

Granted, but now they think you're dead. I wish that this wish was incorruptible.

Granted, but all it does is steal your cereal. I wish that I didn't have a wish at all, without fear of paradox.