Juciebox

What the heck. I am shocked that his parents would do that. I know its fake, but those parents desirve to die. I'm glad that this is a flash back ...

All advice will help. Now, I'm just an amateur author, with all this help, I will get better and better. Thanks.

I like how you started with a flashback, it sets the mood and lets us know who the MC is. Plus, when you went to when they found her, it ...

I like it, it shows how humans try to make themselves feel better by making others like them. You also show in a very abstract way that humans can change. ...

The Mysterious Signal The year, 2113, the earth finally built its first station beyond the moon. My father was there at the time. No one expected the station to be ...

OMG I love how you started the entire thing. I don't critique, I am more of a author/reviewer. I take all the stuff I know about authors and my intense ...

Thanks!!!

*Shivers* I think you should be writing a horror genre and a mystery genre. This story is awsome. I first thought it was just a normal kidnapping, not at all ...

I made as many changes too make it better. I focused on all the points you made and changed them. I also added a character bio to help get a ...

Why Thunderstorms Exist Characters: Thundresa: a tall red headed girl, who brutally murdered her parents in a raging fury. She never was able to find a true friend, but victims. ...

Thank you.

No one ever has to go through this shit at 10! I'm ten years old and already I'm heartless, soulless, loveless! My parents are dead and I'm a orphan. Yes, ...

Justin Prieto Vanhuss 7 Hurricane Ike As I stared out the window, I couldn’t help think it was all about to change. My family thought we were prepared, but this ...

What the heck is soo bad that made you write this. It sounds like your trying to keep people from comiting suicide, but at the same time, it sounds like ...

wow, just wow. I think this is one of those stories were randomness actually works. Though there is a lot of space. Maybe if you filled in some space. When ...