JosephDean

I really liked it, and all of my own critiques have all ready been mentioned, haha. One thing I'll say though is go ahead and continue writing with your story. ...

I really enjoyed this! Most of the things I picked up on, Rosey has all ready stated. A few other things I saw: Jack Frost himself was turning each and ...

Well I had an idea that spawned this story... You can thank my random dreams. I have maybe three or four parts planned for this. In total it will probably ...

Were they really suggesting that I had ‘built’ David myself; that the love I felt was a lie I told myself? I wouldn't use "myself" twice like that; it just ...

I just finished it last night after a good two-day read. Lol. It is fantastic, and like Thunder, I don't say that about a lot of books. It keeps you ...

You've written better, but other than my quotation comment I left on chapter one, I don't see any *real* mistakes. If you yourself don't want to continue it, then don't. ...

I agree with miyaviloves about the legal part of it, but what I see most are your mistakes with quotations. This is what you do, "The dog jumped over the ...

When the character is hearing what the reporter said, there is an unnecessary space in between the period and final quotation mark. Take that out. And italicize the first quotation ...

Oh. My. Gosh. LMAO. Yay for the randomness. Kudos.

DSL. And when my Torrents aren't downloading, it's extremely fast. :D

Well, just like last time, through the miracle of AIM I have all ready given you my critiques. But for the sake of my review count going up by one, ...

Well, I've already given you my kudos via AIM, but for the sake of upping my review count by one - here goes. I really enjoy this. Just the thought ...

I instantly recognized him to be one of the guards or executioners of where ever I was in. "where ever" is one word - wherever ‘Bloodsuckers have the .... Double ...

I know that since you've all ready turned it in, my punctuational point-outs (yay alliteration) are useless, but I shall say them anyway :) The whole dressing up thing was ...

Nearly and hour "and" should be "an" The dialogue was not so scarce over the course of this hour, for I had learned his name. Remove the comma. Him humming ...