JosephDean

I'll agree with dannyr122. As far as grammar goes, the poem is excellent. Punctuation is not an issue because it's poetry; artistic license rules out comma and period usage :P ...

The only thing that got me on this was how the lines kept changing in syllable numbers drastically, but it's not something to worry about. It's just how you decided ...

Lol =] As far as my introductions, Grayson is in the "present" talking about his story, which is why the narrator talks at times as if it is in present ...

Name: Tobias Amsel (to-BEE-uhs * am-sell) Age: Physically 19; Chronologically 216 Race: Vampire Appearance: I'm just going to use the same image I normally do for vampire-themed storybooks, lol. Click

I don't think this is as well written as the first part. But oh well... At least I was able to finish it today. Please let me know what you ...

around me made it feel so right. Did you leave off the beginning of that sentence? :? Anyways, the content is still great. Yeah those stars are still a bit ...

Before I say anything, I would like to point out the review to submission ratio that the administrator and moderators like to enforce. I'm sure you all ready know of ...

I made s I can't believe I am this excited either! .... What happened here? In syntax, I mean. It looks like two sentences slammed together, lol. "I look stupid." ...

I like this!! There were only two things that stood out to me: "What do you want?" The tallest of the boys asks, stretching his neck higher to appear taller ...

this was really super amazing. like really. the writing was spectacular. haha. i'm a little bit blown away. Wow, thank you! And lol, yeah I should change "where" to "when." ...

Lol, even without the stars, I can tell where the writer changes :P This is still really great =D

Pandy: Haha, that is funny =] I usually have trouble reading someone's elses writing online but this time I read every word all the way through. And I usually am ...

Wow, this was really well written, you two! It's really obvious during the authour switches though, lmao, but it's supposed to happen when there is more than one. :P I'm ...

Okay, first - it was REALLY good. So much emotion and energy. Second - there are SO MANY mistakes everywhere. It was really hard for me to fully enjoy it ...

Lol, everyone has all ready beaten me to the small critiques I would have made, but I still loved it. It's a great preface or prologue, whichever you prefer. The ...