JordanEmert

I love Bella's hair and lips. Something just doesn't seem right with Edward's face though. I don't quite know what's wrong, but there is something. But, nice drawing, I really ...

Outstanding Piece! I take it one side was human and the oposing side were like, vampires? My favorite part had to be when she turned around and saw Derrik with ...

Hi I am Jordan and I will be your critique. I also noticed a lot of grammatical mistakes... Mostly, Spelling and places where you put a period there should have ...

Hi my name is Jordan and I will be your critique. The Story was very vivid and exciting. It painted a very clear picture in my mind and it had ...

Hi, my name is Jordan. I'm sure you will like YWS. We are all very friendly. If you neead anything just PM me and I will help. Happy Writing and ...

Hi, my name is Jordan. I'm sure you will like YWS. We are all very friendly. If you neead anything just PM me and I will help. Happy Writing and ...

Hi Black Halo! My name is Jordan. I'm sure you've heard of the 2:1 rule already so I am not going to go over it again. Everybody is very friendly ...

I agree with White... I am not sure if I like it or not. It was very confusing. I'm thinking that the two characters can change their figure or something, ...

Hi, I'm Jordan and I will be reviewing your work today. I agree with Dommy, you moved a bit too fast. I liked the very first part where she thought ...

Esme'shere, terrific! I can't wait until you put Edward in. (If you do!) ans see how his and Bella's relationship is. Well, I'm going to go read the next Chapter!

I honestly love this story, I mean, who couldn't? Bella Swan is a vampire! I liked how you developed a strong father - daughter relationship between Carlisle and Bella.. Great ...

I really liked that, I think it was the longest story I've bothered to read on here. I ecspecially liked the part where the rabbit got mad because Alice called ...

Here it is guys, Chapter three. Critiques are encouraged! Chapter 3 - "Why?" Samantha asked, confused. "Are you on the website Sam?" "Yes. What is the big deal?" Sam asked ...

Hi! I'm Jordan and I will be revieiwing your story. First of all, I liked when you described how she thought she looked and sounded when the guy came over ...

I'm going to reply to your question first.. I don't think you put a comma after every line - but I could be wrong, I stink at poetry, critting and ...