Jiggity

Some adventurous folk crept right up to the threadbare barrier in hopes of catching a better glimpse of the faces of the fighters full of a grim determination 'full of ...

This is in need of a lot of work. In the small town of Camilla, a stranger named Christian scurries down the street which smelled of fresh rain. He looks ...

Spacing. Use it and this will be much improved. As it is, what you've put here is almost cliche, in the sense that i see nothing new here. The dialogue ...

I liked it, didnt grasp it in its entirety methinks but yeah, I liked it. Not entirely helpful I know. Sealed With A L oving K iss That confused the ...

Hahah, was there a reference to the poem, The Road Not Taken in there? Still, that did clear things up. I'd always wondered about the exact definiton of Dramatic Poetry.

I didnt like the whole beginning being a dream, that irritated. As did the length of time it took the character to realise he wasnt in his onw home. I ...

Not the type of piece I ususally read but very well written. Exceptionally so in fact, the content however, I'm not so keen on. I only found one error, and ...

I came here to escape this, but everywhere I go I see his face staring back at me. In the twisted, knarled bark of the trees, and the white cottonwool ...

Nazgul? Sounds like the creatures in Lord of the Rings, does it not? I didn't like, no actually, I hated the prologue. Info dump; everything said there could have been ...

Really? Never heard the RPG thing before, but I'll take that into consideration and indeed all of the above suggestions. Thanks a million. Hahaha, always wanted to say that.

Contrary to Trident's opinion, I actually think the dialogue could use some fine tuning. It irritated me, especially the parts that were repetitive, albiet deliberetely so. Eg, "Hey--hey--hey you, Kal

Your a published writer? Bravo. That's a a cool achievement at a reasonably young age. What are your previous books called? First thing I noticed was the repetition in the ...

Foolish mortal You use, if not this exact line then this sentiment, too often and its rather cliche. To my ears her heartbeat is the like the sound of a ...

Those two crits kinda cover it all. There's very little substance and even as a snapshot its not really good as it is, as trident said, very cliche. Ask yourself, ...

I'm not sure whether to take this seriously lol, it is a humorous piece though. You have great descriptive skills, and there are a few minor typo's I'm sure you'd ...