Jiggity

Cyrus was tiring and quickly. His arms, beard, and face were streaked with blood and gore, only a little of which was his own. Although it felt like forever, he ...

Ah yes Ive read about this guy, australian papers call him the Suffolk Ripper. Quite a gruesome set of events really ... first time Ive ever heard of/ seen a ...

oooooo I loved this. It was ... wow. Awesome. Excellent imagery, and everything seemed to flow well, it was just great. I didn't like the last line though, threw me ...

I am reading Eragon, if a movie was made about it -- which in itself looks crap -- I thought perhaps that it might be worth reading, forgetting the very ...

Ha! Yes, a giant bear who would rather then sleep and eat then doing anything would be a sound choice for a leader. Just like George Bush. Lol, I think ...

Cyrus stared about the forest, alert. Even without the moonlight, the forest was well defined to his eyes. Dwarves were born and raised in darkness, spending their lives mining light, ...

Sounds good to me, I guess.

Lol, yeah that's fine. And if anything I say regarding Henry is incorrect please inform me. Grif, does Alden have good nightvision? Cyrus walked away from the thief, smiling; despite ...

Stupid stretchy thread. Inertia, she's already made it clear that she has, or is currently, writing a children's book that will be published under a pseudonym. Whether its a commerical ...

Okay then. Way too disregard everything I said lmao. Well then, Alden's friend can betray him.

Ok, so we're currently dining with thieves right? Men who have been in the area far longer then us and so know it that much better. Around the camp fire ...

Cyrus is a traveller, an explorer and his main reason for going on this quest was to satusfy his wanderer lust -- although lol that sounds a little bad, but ...

OMG lol, those thoughts are meant to be in italics, hahaha, thanks for the crit adam. Oh and that poem was what the story had to be based on for ...

Welcome Kuhinoor to YWS, its great that your expanding your writing operations by seeking to improve aand get.give critiques. You will get excellent help from all the writer's here, I ...

7/10 -- I like the first one, not so much the second one.