Jiggity

Thirteen Moons by Charles Frazier -- one of my first forays into this type of novel. Should be interesting.

Ahem, I critted Voices and Cold; Sera I had already gone over previously. Hope that helps.

One says, glancing out my eyes and then moving father back into my head further/farther I think I may be alone in this, but the beginning with One is a ...

Ahem, well. This had a Matrix-style feel to it; in terms of the real world versu the Matrix, the illusion. Apart from that, I think whoever judges/reads this will be ...

Well, I'll take a look at 'em for you Dusky. Godd luck with your scholarships.

James Brown, the dynamic, pompadoured "Godfather of Soul", whose rasping vocals and revolutionary rhythms made him a founder of rap, funk and disco, died today in Atlanta, aged 73. Brown, ...

Whoops, lol. Sorry, just noticed now.

Nevermind.

Before your character was cut loose. Sab is going to clear up and fix his post; disregard it for now.

So, ah, I take it you liked it? I think you were quite right with the constant 'had' insertion so I changed that a bit. As to the child's perspective ...

5/10 -- rightio.

LOL -- I dont think thats going to happen hahah, she seems to be in good health. Although that wrestling idea seems good! Mwahahaha, lol. I may actually be coming ...

Yeah, I found that unlike some rhyming poems this was not forced and it flowed really well, that is, until the second last stanza which seemed just a tad off. ...

Woo! Off the wall! Thats just the randomness ... and I'm sure your referring to the serial killer thingo ... I was just really enamoured with Saw when it first ...

Sureal, you crack me up.