Jiggity

Like an awesome zombie vampire bat

First off, thanks a bunch, peeps. The oveall impression I'm getting is that this feels rushed - It most certainly was. It's for a competition of 4,000 words and even ...

Ah, Gyr. It's always fun to read your stuff. I seriously didn't like K'ratcha telling his story in the manner of a fable - it was both annoying and off-putting. ...

Her fingers were blue. It would be incriminating enough, if they hadn’t caught her in the act. Now it was just embarrassing. Bella Jones was known in the small town ...

This is a short script I am developing for my screenwriting class. It is my first draft, of my first script. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I've attached it ...

Ancient History, closely followed by Modern History

I've heard a lot of people, experienced writers, teachers, authors and otherwise say don't write won't you don't know. There's even a famous quote somewhere about the arrogance of writing ...

something to relit the oiled cloth on his torch relight This is odd. Not only do you change tense, you also change form. While it's not a bad thing to ...

All in all, this is an excellently well written piece, aside from the odd awkward turn of phrase. And by this, I refer to unnecessary words halting the flow, rather ...

Hey Corey, welcome to YWS. It's good to see you commenting so soon, reading, and helping out. Thanks. I'm actually surprised this was received so well, being just a small ...

Heya, thanks Grif - that's a perfectly valid example, and I get what you mean. Cheers for the tip. And to everyone that's commented, I appreciate your help and more, ...

As I said, I need to work on some things. There are inconsistencies in the characters, so I'll revise it a little bit - add on the rest of the ...

Ah, there are a lot of things I need to fix up in this piece. A little bit more of a set up is required, I think; your confusion is ...

Ah, thank you very for your comments. But I don't think I'm entering the competition, rather, I think I'm judging it :p But it was inspired by it. Again, thank ...

Her fingers were blue. It would be incriminating enough, if they hadn’t caught her in the act. Now it was just embarrassing. Sera Jones was known in the small town ...