Jetpack

Right, all I really have to go through here are typos and nitpicks, since I really liked this. Your characterisation is absolutely brilliant and so is your dialogue, though sometimes ...

Okay, what happened to the speech formatting? There are no speech marks. Why not? I've seen that done a couple of times in memories or suchlike, but usually it's only ...

Okay, I wrote out a whole review and then my computer died, so now I have to redo. So really quickly this time. There's not enough grief. Your MC - ...

I loved it. I've never read anything of yours before, so if this is you a little rusty, I must go and find out what you call top form. I ...

I'd never heard of this fairytale before, so I googled it and read it online - after reading this of course, so I could make comparisons. This is a very ...

Hey there. I'll jump straight into it. Style and Tone Okay. Your writing is all in short sentences. Everything is written like this. There is no variation. Therefore, it's boring ...

I agree with you completely, Shina. I was so confused by the ending that I had to read it quite a few times, which totally threw any momentum it had. ...

Are you sure this should be in Action/Adventure and not in Fantasy? It seems like fantasy to me. Anyway, I see you're a newbie, so welcome to the site! I'm ...

Hi. I've read this a couple of times and figure I'll give you a review. Nitpicks first. even if infinitesimally. There are times when a short word works better than ...

Okay, hi, Jetpack here. First things first, please please don't colour your font! It's fine for Randomness, but here it's just irritating and makes you as a writer look very ...

Hey, I'm Jetpack. First things first, please make sure your introduction is properly punctuated! Capitalise your I's and so on, if only because when a reviewer comes to look at ...

Wow. That was well written. I really enjoyed it, and there's a definite hook at the end there. I'll leave writing nitpicks to someone else, because I couldn't find any. ...

Hiya! Welcome to YWS. Why don't you head over to the Welcome forum and introduce yourself? Some of the greeters - their names are in light blue - will tell ...

Hey, I'll give you another review. Um, Dakota, "favourite" is spelled with a 'u' in the UK, so it's correct assuming BigCityDreams is from there. :) I'll nitpick, but I'll ...

Hey, I'm Jetpack, and I'll give you a quick review. By the way, it isn't that long, don't worry! People have posted longer, I'm sure. :P Okay, quick review, quick ...