Jesse

I gathered that in the begining they were both at a party. But i couldnt really see that from the first poem. Maybe drop a couple more sentences in letting ...

Personally i didn't go for the "pluck up enough courage to hold my hand." i would've used a different word. I would've wrote " It wasn't hard to tell that ...

The story got my attention right away. You got some talent :). But the first paragraph i found you rushed into her dads death to quickly. You could do a ...

just backstabbed me and rocked my world, or what was left of it The next day at school; I did my best to look happy but not everything they did ...

just backstabbed me and rocked my world, or what was left of it The next day at school; I did my best to look happy but not everything they did ...