Jess

This is really good. It shows the emotions a person would feel when losing a parent very clearly and I think it's very sound historically. I like that you;ve brought ...

I thought this was great! I love the way you get righ inside your character's mind and bring out his/her character straight away. Starting with a bang like you did, ...

Personally, I think it's great! Very short, so I hope you're adding to it. You need to show more and tell less. Get some dialogue in it. Put a conversation ...

Great choice of topic, character development, setting portrayal, and excellent going in present voice. It's probably the hardest tense to write in. You did miss the present tense a couple ...

The fires glow beneath a darkened sky: Some burning still – the flames once more leap high. The bush is burnt, the trees again must grow. And we who lived ...

I really like it. It's short, and you really need to make it longer to create a definite plot, because there's no clear direction where it's going at the moment. ...

I like the setting, just before the famine, but your characters are lacking the three-dimansional touch that makes you get really lost in a book. I probably wouldn't remember your ...

Neat! I really liked the way you brought out the characters of the people through dialogue. I find it hard and you did it really well. Also the period, which ...