Jerikas

This builds up the suspence really well, you make it hard to guess what will happen next but you do keep the reader trying to guess. There were just a ...

I like this, it shows sibling affection as well as the conflicts of a youngish family. I couldn't see any typos either. The only things i noticed was that you ...

Please rip this apart, its spur of the moment type thing. All I can feel is the cool sand between my toes and his hand on the small of my ...

what is the point is writing without using the correct language, it just makes it harder to read. Also you seem to write in as if you are having a ...

you write in text talk and don't check your work, this annoys me but the story is cool

This is good but you add a little too much desciption into some sentences. The one that springs to mind is when you are describing the person serving the the ...

This was written by one of my friends. Please crit. Cold and dank and all encompasing Its tendrils swirl towards you Hiding, muffling, smothering, choking Those tendrils wrap you close ...

This has really good imagery but there are loads of spelling mistakes, the most obvious being 'feild' which should be 'field'. Check for spelling mistakes before you post! Other than ...

I like this but the layout is a bit strange, not sure if its better or worse than the normal layout. Only thing i noticed was that you put all ...

I'm reading 'Ugly' by Constance Briscoe at the moment and I'm also reading 'You Don't Have To Be Evil To Work Here But It Helps' by Tom Holt, its very ...

This shows potential but there are several things I noticed. Firstly, every time a character says anything it needs a new line and if you are going to write 'he ...

This is good but it's a wall of words making it really hard to read, put tabs in at the beginning of paragraphs and double space before writing what a ...

ok this is just an attempt as I don't really write poetry but I thought I would put this in and see what happens, feel free to tell me to ...

This is good but your description of the setting is a bit poor. Even though it is dark you can say things like how big the room is or its ...

I reckon Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell are the best fantasy writers with the possible execption of Lemony Snicket. They've written some of the most un-clichèd books I've ever read ...