JazzyJumppi

I can't see any problems except maybe just profread and make sure you explained everything so the reader knows what your talking about!:)I like it alot!

WOW!Very interesting!I like it!I can almost feel her pain.When you say this: But Robert hadn’t found any girls he found suitable enough for marriage, and the job he had paid ...

This is a great story!I like that you added some humor!I couldn't see a whole lot of problems that other people haven't already seen!So the only advice I can give ...

That helps alot!Ill remember to add emotion!:)

The Second Chapter to mt story! Tell me what you think please!

I ran to my dorm room at top speed and slammed the door. My first day so far couldn’t have gone worse. So I’m in 9th grade and I just ...

I have published the other 2 chapters to another cite for young writers, so if you want the link to see them here it is: It will attomaticoly go to ...

Thank-]you everyone for the feedback and support! I just have to get enough points then I will post the next chapter!:)

I like this! It's really interesting and it really hooked me in! The only thing that I could see was that you might want to make your diffrent days more ...

This is an amazing story line I love it! The only thing that I could see was that the end sentence wasn't to grabbing! I think it should be more ...

You have great writing potential like it a lot ! One thing I noticed is that you skip to diffrent dramatic thing that happened pretty fast!Maybe try to talk about ...

You have great writing potential like it a lot !You should try publishing! Check out mine it’s called The Double Life!

You have great writing potential like it a lot !You should try publishing! Check out mine it’s called The Double Life!

I am a normal girl when I look in the mirror, I see a Pranda dress clad girl with long wavy brunette hair, extra shiny due to a lot of ...