Jay

Hi Josh, welcome to YWS! PM me if you have any questions about the site.

Well, one of my characters shares her name with a chemical found in bath products (Theobroma).

Where it says, '“Um, Chris Hancock, I attend uh, Jackson High in Minnesota.” Said a mop haired boy', the S in the word 'said' shouldn't be capitalised. This is the ...

Wow, this has taken a turn for the more gritty! I think it's very realistic-the way it's described, I'd say it's one of the most realistic stories I've read here ...

I read the second part of the dream before I read this first part so I was pretty shocked to realize that Carl was Isabelle's cousin! Personally, I think it's ...

I liked the tone and the humour. In this piece, it says 'you do this, etc...', which is quite rare. I find it annoying, but that's down to personal taste. ...

Wow, this is scary! Very promising and sinister. There are a few spelling and grammar issues... 'Imsgination' should be 'imagination' 'ahnds' should be 'and' 'awy' should be 'away' In the ...

'That's it for today, I think, thought Dan' would be better as 'That's it for today, thought Dan'. Instead of 'It had grown impatient, in the heat' say, 'she had ...

This was very realistic, honest and funny. The ending leaves on a bit of a cliffhanger, but not too much so as to leave the reader disappointed. It makes me ...

Wow, that was intense. I'm actually relieved it was just a dream (or was it?...). The beginning had me thinking it was going to be a relaxing, nice dream, then ...

The dialogue here is great, and I love the gory description of Henry's body. It seems almost comical how the body fell through the ceiling and landed on his desk, ...

I'm pretty confused with this. Are the seperate "parts" a series of letters or diary entries the protagonist is writing? I really enjoyed the first part, but from there it ...

The title is intriguing, and this is a solid, entertaining chapter. The mood is kept fast and light, with little hints of suspense. I'm not usually a fan of apocalyptic-type ...

This was an eerily moving piece for its length. I haven't read any of your other Mutts stories, so I'm just seeing this a vacuum, shall we say. It's a ...

This is such a creative and original idea! The only issue I have with it is that in the beginning, there's a brief introduction to Mattae, then it goes straight ...