Jay

Hi, welcome to YWS! I'm new here too :)

It's not wildly groundbreaking, but you have a good concept with a lot of potential to develop from. The Post-it note idea sounds like it could be interesting. I also ...

A good start that hits all the right notes-there's just enough information revealed to make it interesting and spooky, but the plot isn't given away just yet. It ends on ...

It's got an intriguing title and a good introduction. Very descriptive and interesting. The only thing that bothers me is the phrase "All of her family's families were all bigger ...

Like others said, clearing up the spelling and grammar will make this a lot easier to read. I'm interested to see how the concept develops. I'm unsure about Crystal/Berenice though-she ...

You've definitely got a good start going. What's the main plot in the story? It sounds like it's going to be sports-oriented. I suggest giving Vanessa and Chris more personality, ...

It could be an interesting concept, but I'm not sure I completely understand this. At the moment I've got the idea that there's "the man", who is like a personification ...

I really liked it-very gripping. I'm curious to see what happens next with Noel and I liked the dialogue between Theol and Dala. At the moment I'm thinking Noel could ...

It's certainly a very dark first chapter, what with the 'Death Follows' and Charles killing the man. That makes me curious-why did he kill him, apart from the strangely familiar ...

I liked the suspense built up-I really wanted to find out about the letter. I also like how Harry doesn't talk to anyone but himself. There's a lot of questions ...

This is such an interesting concept! So the story's going to focus on Satan's daughter who's been kidnapped by God? It has potential for so much humour as well. I ...

I like the idea but I can see where you'd have trouble-it sounds so complicated and theoretical it will be hard to write it. I suggest you plan out each ...

Bread is my favourite food. It's all I eat, as a matter of fact. This story is going to be all about bread.

Well, I'd give it a 7 out of 10 because I like the drama element and it has potential for a pretty funny radio battle between Michael and Mira. That ...

Hi, I'm Jay. I'm fifteen years old and I like to write fantasy. Mostly I get my younger brother to give his opinions on my stories but the one story ...