Jay

I loved this-it was an action-filled, funny and entertaining beginning. When it says: "purred the Sinefesh which called itself Jonathan Kraw", it should be "who called himself Jonathan Kraw" 'The ...

“What are the damages to the ship?” She asked, should say "What are the damages to the ship?" she asked. A solid and promising start. I'm starting to like Jo's ...

This was so lovely and heartwarming. Most of the writing here is very angsty and dramatic, so this was a refreshing change of pace. The use of imagery is great ...

Use "sarcastic" instead of "sarcasting", and make sure I as a proper noun is always capitalized. Say "everyone" instead of "every one". "Firey" should be "fiery" And say "weak hearts" ...

This is a really entertaining and heartfelt introduction, as well as being refreshingly realistic. Although it's fantasy there's a central theme that a teenager can relate to-that of failing to ...

I liked this-firstly because of the style. Your style is distinctive from everyone else here, and this passage is written with a unique voice. Will this be continuing? If so, ...

This is an action-packed and gripping opening with lots of potential. The ending leaves people wanting to know more. I find the world this is set in very interesting and ...

It's a dramatic and emotional beginning that keeps the reader guessing (Where is he in the second chapter? Why is he being chased? And who is the screaming woman?) Near ...

Hey, this sounds a bit like Sex and the City! It could be a very entertaining idea. Here's some random plot starters off the top of my head. -Someone gets ...

It's certainly a good passage, but I need more information to be sure (I tentatively voted 7-9). Is this the beginning? It's a very gripping excerpt and I want to ...

The movie was underrated, the book was overrated. Maybe I just think so because I like to laugh at bad movies. The ending had me cracking up: Arya: We will ...

I just finished editing a 44-page urban fantasy story. (I planned out every chapter, so it was faster). It's about a guy called Kemsyt Leviticus who is heir to the ...

I don't know much about songfics, but the idea sounds interesting to me and I think anything has a certain audience. Good luck!

It sounds like a good idea, even a little funny. How did Lan's wife die? Is the "high wall" literally a wall trapping him in the city?

I'm not sure I understand. Is this going to be a series? Or different parts of the same story? In any case, I really like the titles :)