Jay

I'm writing a story. The plot is thus: Lulu Clatchey breaks her neck and dies. She then decides to apply to be a guardian angel, and ends up getting assigned ...

Hello! First of all, you need to do two reviews for each piece of work posted, so now you need to do two reviews. The first two paragraphs should be ...

I would put them both in first person, with chapter titles like Antigone suggested.

Hi fatimachan! Sorry it took me so long to get round to reviewing this... It's a very intense and strong poem. It definitely breaks the mold-it isn't the cliched "I'm ...

Ah, what an interesting idea. You've definitely thought a lot about it, and covered details. I can see it will develop into a global-scale war. Maribelle definitely won't be able ...

Hey, cool! It sounds very adventurous, and also quite sweet. I would make the characters younger than college-age though. (You don't usually see college students in adventure stories). I'm very ...

Well, I'm not sure what the title should be from this excerpt-I'd need to have a plot synopsis to make some suggestions. This is a good beginning. I like the ...

A solid and promising beginning here. From reading this short bit, I can already tell that the protagonist has low self-esteem and life has dealt her some hard blows. This ...

I'll start with the good and finish with the bad. (But there really is a lot more good than bad! :D ) I really like the narrator-she is instantly likable. ...

Wow. This was moving, gritty and hard-hitting-you tell it like it is and it isn't fluffified at all. I also want to say that you're very brave to approach writing ...

The first thing that stands out to me is how convincingly you wrote Johnny's stream of consciousness. It's a real skill to be able to write from a three-year-old's viewpoint ...

I think this was well-written, readable and professional. I really liked the line "we don't care about the government or the recession". It tells it like it is, it's unabashed ...

Everyone had to come over for the whole day, edging well into the night. It happened nearly every year, round about the same time, early April. Something about it being ...

This site: has really interesting information and resources on names.

I see different bits of myself in my characters. That's part of the fun of writing.