Jasmine

Thanks for the feedback, it's been really helpful. This will be my first lengthly short story so I will definitely be posting more for additional advice, as I am one ...

So this is the opening of a short story I have to write for class. The objective is to take a character on a journey that changes them in some ...

First of all, I really loved your imagery. It was really neat but I found it was used a lot in single sentences. I would also recommend alluding as to ...

Wow, this was so captivating! I didn't catch on to your thesis, but I've never been so great at that. But I'm sure your teacher will love this piece, (or ...

I really liked this. The imagery was simple but effective and it had a nice flow. I also liked you didn't over use "If i must die," and instead used ...

Your title implies that there should be a lot more feelings involved, but I didn't really feel them. I found myself picking at grammar mistakes, and the different tenses used. ...

Although I did see a few spelling and grammar mistakes, I won't point them out because I'm commenting just because I loved this piece. I loved how it had the ...

Wow, I really liked this piece a lot. It's so simple but the way you switch from pas to present really works to keep me interested. I do agree with ...

I definitely did like the storym although it was very short and left some questions unanswered. Why was she saying they could not be together anymore? What was the money ...

This is just something I wrote because the snow's just fallen and I've always found it beautiful. Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. The first snow fell yesterday. I ...

Hi wondergirl59, The first thing I noticed was the variance between past and present tense. If you begin your writing in the present, stay constant with that throughout the piece. ...

Wow, that was absolutely beautiful! I loved your style and descriptions. They made it very easy to visualize what was happening. The twist at the ending was superb! Although, I ...

First off, thank you for writing such a cute little piece! It was simple and yet very beautiful. I do agree though that it could be incredible if you were ...

Thank you so much for your review. It's nice to have someone give me advice on how to improve and make the story more interesting. I never really did go ...

Oh my goodness, this was very good. Your grammer and spelling are nearly perfect, one thing I noticed though that made me laugh because it seemed so out of place ...