JackpotJohnson

Thanks, for the Great feedback. It's nice to meet you to. I noticed to that I really need to make some meat on these barebones, because you're right, I need ...

I will definitely PM you when more is written, Thank you for your words of advice. I noticed that as well after I posted. This is just my rough draft ...

Table of Main Characters The Dark Prince- Nathaniel Johnson Powers- Dark Magic/ All Elemental Powers The Sky Prince- Joshua Bilbrew Powers- Cosmic Energy/ All elemental Powers Table of Minor Character

Don't you ever wonder why girl Why he's never there for you Don't you ever wonder why girl What it would have been like Don't you ever wonder why girl ...

Wise-Old-Man Age: 85 Gender: Male Personality: Never pushy, mean spirited, cranky, upset, or even demeaning. The wise old man, never shouts or makes rude comments. Always is offering comfort to ...

Wow, this is great. It immediately grabs the readers attention within the first line. You make it so realistic its almost like I'm standing right next to her, crying with ...

Name: Dimitri Skylar-King Svendsen Age:18 Gender: Male Appearance: Buff African-American, with short wavy hair. Onyx colored eyes and hair. About six feet three inches (6'3'') weighing approximately 2

Character templates have been made for this storybook...feel free to comment or become one of the characters :D

alright...

Plot On the Wings of an Angel, you are the Angel. You are a young, naive, and ignorant 15-year-old. God has sent you into the world to change the lives ...

I really liked it...I belive that it captures your attention with in the first line. I love how you kind of make it feel normal and it almost like fades. ...

Thank you for your great advice. I will use this information in the future for my benifit.....This is will make writing sci-fi much easier. Also for Bao-boa's name I wanted ...

Like they said it was a good start...

Anyone else????

Thank's so much....I'll take a look at what I can do to fix the story