Jack-a-Lynn

Your World as I See It : This is a bitter, steam-powered world driven by progress. Factories dominate the city of Bergamo, and the workers eke out a meager existence ...

Most of what I found is a reiteration of what others have pointed out already. You tend to go overboard with physical descriptions, and those really bog down the pace. ...

Overview: First of all, I found the arc of the story (the plot, the natural curve of events) to be extremely confusing and disconnected. We have the world of your ...

I won't get into the historical inaccuracies, as those have been covered already, but I think what you have here, especially in the first two sections, is a very good ...

The first question I have is who is speaking? I understand the letter from the priest, but the section between the letter and Shirracco's telling of the story is confused. ...