JC

"Where's Gabby fit into this?" I think this would sound better as "Where does Gabby fit into this?" it's easier to read. The warmth of her lips and her citrus ...

Brad nor Aaron This should be "Neither Brad nor Aaron..." It would just make the beginning of the section flow better, and make more sense at the same time. grabbed ...

I walked through the lobby when I saw Brad and Carly walking towards me, hands locked. I think this sentence would flow better if you changed the beginning to something ...

most boldest person in the world Most boldest...I think you just mean boldest. Take out the most. their not enough Wrong form of the word, it should be they're. ________________________________ ...

This was a really good section, obviously seeing as I had no corrections or anything. My only problem would be, like Angel said, Evie's reaction to Aaron. It's normal to ...

I Stuttered You don't need to capitalize stuttered. I wanted him for so long, and now I’m so close and I don’t want to lose him. Watch your tense. You ...

Arg! Sorry, I had a really good critique coming and it accidentally got erased and I can't get it back, so... sorry about that. I'll just go straight to my ...

whipped Wiped. This was during the summer of ninth and tenth grade, now I’m just about to graduate and I still am in love with him. The rest of your ...

my lips couldn’t tear I don't really like this phrase...something about it has a weird kind of imagery and I think of lips literally tearing. Maybe you could say "I ...

I loved this book in elementry school. My fifth grade teacher stole it from me :( But yeah, from what I remember it was really good. I should probably read ...

I read The Sight a few years ago, and it was pretty good. I've tried reading it a few times since, but it's really one of those books you can ...

Him and I sat criss crossed in front of each other. Can't think of a correction for 'Him and I' We. :D Aaron's making breakfast but Brad, Mia, Steven, Jessica, ...

Poor Meyer. Anyways, the Twilight saga was on the list of no-says for this forum, and I have no beef with it anyways. I've never been able to put down ...

I had some problems with the sexual content, not that it was there, but that it wasn't really all that accurate... All of those involved, except for Carly and Jessica ...

Carly stated half drunk. Add a comma after "half". We were at The Midnight Strike, a night club in Miami. Now, I know it's been done before, but would you ...