JC

That was beautiful. It seems to all go together. The plant, the mountains, the lake. Everything. It's a beautiful picture, really makes me want to go there. It must have ...

Pleasant View High had about hundred kids in each grade. Generally, you would say students, as opposed to kids. Kids makes it sound young. Or maybe that's just a personal ...

You can chase a butterfly around a field and never catch it. But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder. -Unknown Chapter ...

The way it all began was pretty fuzzy for me. It was odd; I could remember the planes and angles of his face, and the deep timbre of his voice, ...

EDITED: Thank you all very much for your helpful critiques, I think it's made this section much better. Tell me what you think about the changes.

That's really cool, Cold. I love what the light is doing in this picture.

I think the way she has it is right for what she was saying, Theophany. The thing is, her character isn't going to just a new school, it's another new ...

The thing is, John doesn't really feel for her, it's more of a material relationship. Everything in this story is metaphoric, and it's extremely subtle but is more obvious as ...

Goodness. That's absolutely horrid.

Thanks for the helpful comments. Jig, I thought it was interesting that you said nothing really happened so far, but I can assure you that the rest of the story ...

Very poor and loved. I can't stand being hated. Would you rather be hated for your writing, or never write at all? ...ouch.

There are a few things you should clear up to make this better: How are Love and Death related to the ending? Why would they both want to stop it? ...

Prologue: Something deep inside me stirred, awakening a fear so close to longing, so uncontrollable. Pulling back I realized that it had already gone too far. Neither of us were ...

I promised I would try to get to this: _______________________________ When I was new to the school, kids had made an effort A few things here: you seem to have ...

Thank you! I don't know if I'm going to post this here until I at least edit the NaNo crazy out of it. But I'm actually editing something else right ...