JC

the people who Stephenie Meyer want aren't in the movie. Actually, she begged Kellan Lutz to play Emmet. So that's one. And since the movie has come out, I was ...

Thank you both very much. I knew I needed a lot of work, especially with this chapter. I really see what both of you mean about the whole showing vs. ...

pupils dilated Just why are her pupils dilated? the serene walk the new cream slippers caused her to adopt. I find this wording to be awkward, thought I know not ...

Chapter Two: (part one) Roz’s house was one of those imposing beasts of a ‘suburban’ home. Roughly carved gray stones climbed two stories up to a round miniature tower. The ...

She clutched the basket with gloved fingers and glared at any man trying to make advances on her. Why not show this with an action, a scene. As opposed to ...

Seated in the creaking armchair, thin legs crossed. Her slippered feet hung off the ankles at odd slants. The flimsy sleeve of her blue muslin frock loosely hung off her ...

close to an uncontrollable longing. You get the exact same thing Actually, it isn't the same thing. The longing isn't incontrollable. The fear is, please read the sentence the way ...

I understood that from several points, but regardless, tense has to be consistent. Telling a story in past and present tense gets confusing to the reader. Can she not instead ...

It’s odd; I find it easy to remember the planes and angles of his face, and the deep timbre of his voice, but can’t quite recall the vivid memory of ...

I like it this way a lot better. There were still a few errors in flow and wording, but it was much better than the original draft, or at least ...

Okay...here's a bigger picture of me. There's something in my hair and it's bugging me. :(

The purpose of the placing, was yes, specific. There's more than one way to read this, and reading it in each way ties the meaning together. should.

Bella and me in the beginning of November. I hate me in this, but Bells-K is adorable.

I’m you’re down for anything chick. 1. Wrong form of the word. Should be 'your' 2. This should be written as, "I'm your down-for-anything chick." There’s a buzzing in the ...

Well, I'm no poet, let me tell you that. But I believe that there are a few things that a prose reader can point out, and seeing as it's all ...