JC

"Where's Gabby fit into this?" I think this would sound better as "Where does Gabby fit into this?" it's easier to read. The warmth of her lips and her citrus ...

I've begun to notice the lack of reviews along with tons of stories. It used to be like, you would post something and by the end of the day have ...

My first story was about how the easter bunny came to be so. It was great, haha. :D

Brad nor Aaron This should be "Neither Brad nor Aaron..." It would just make the beginning of the section flow better, and make more sense at the same time. grabbed ...

I walked through the lobby when I saw Brad and Carly walking towards me, hands locked. I think this sentence would flow better if you changed the beginning to something ...

most boldest person in the world Most boldest...I think you just mean boldest. Take out the most. their not enough Wrong form of the word, it should be they're. ________________________________ ...

This was a really good section, obviously seeing as I had no corrections or anything. My only problem would be, like Angel said, Evie's reaction to Aaron. It's normal to ...

I Stuttered You don't need to capitalize stuttered. I wanted him for so long, and now I’m so close and I don’t want to lose him. Watch your tense. You ...

Arg! Sorry, I had a really good critique coming and it accidentally got erased and I can't get it back, so... sorry about that. I'll just go straight to my ...

whipped Wiped. This was during the summer of ninth and tenth grade, now I’m just about to graduate and I still am in love with him. The rest of your ...

my lips couldn’t tear I don't really like this phrase...something about it has a weird kind of imagery and I think of lips literally tearing. Maybe you could say "I ...

I've always been into Rock/Metal stuff. My top 5: Avenged Sevenfold Bullet for my Valentine Breaking Benjamin Sick Puppies Three Days Grace I love the guitars, and the vocals and ...

PJ I'm a girl who's completely adverage in every way, but lives a completely unadverage life.

Hello, my name is Vana and I crawled out of hell for something better.

That person who runs outside during a thunderstorm and testing fate. JCobsesed