Izzyeyore

Hey, i really liked this (again), but two things: 1) you should put each constituent part of this story as an individual thread 2) most french kids call their mom ...

I really liked this, and Complicated101 got basically everything that i was going to say. One thing: the nurse probably 'scurried' out of the room and didn't 'skirt' it, that ...

this falls under the 'adorable but kinda cliché' category, i love it!!!! haha, but here's some grammar stuff: He was here, in this class. My breath became quick and short ...

wow. this is really good :) just a few nitpicks: I was one of the few that hadn’t become maybe gotten is better wasted yet. I could feel myself getting ...

Oh, SNAP!ou could maybe add a Wow, that was an amazing story, and I have nothing to correct: no typos, grammar, nothing. Congratulations! You made the story very gripping and ...

I commend you :) everything else's been said, and any small errors remaining can be fixed easily with a proof-read :D if you continue, can you PM me? thanks a ...

Heartbreakingly sweet :) You managed to capture the essence of the story, and I could just see it happening, keep it up. Your style is very fluid, and you have ...

I loved that :) only one thing, you said that his voice got her 'intention', it should be 'attention' :D

more? :) no criticisms other than you may want to look up the conjugation of to lie I think it's I lie on the bed, she lay on the couch. ...

Oh, SNAP! Wow... that sucks for Calix... I love how your story gets the reader to care about the characters. All the chapters so far have been phenomeenal, but I ...

Wait, what?! WHAT?! AAAH!!! That was a picture-perfect surprise ending, but... oh yes, the ever-returning, terrible 'but' ... i thought that he abused her? If you set it up more ...

I really like this! :D more? There were no spelling or grammar mistakes that I caught, so kudos! All in all, just keep it up and PM me when you ...

There are about a dozen or so nitpicks in this piece, but I resisted :D I really liked this story, it seemed to be akin to what a teenage boy ...

I really liked this; it was cute, short, sweet, and got to the point fairly quickly. A few comments: -You go from really poetic and eloquent descriptions to using colloquial ...

"laundry shoot" -- chute "bowel of cereal" -- bowl "life to school" -- lift "his face ad wrinkled" -- had "hairline...reseeding" -- receding "after noun" -- afternoon "tat was another ...