Izzyeyore

Name: Nova Age: 16 Breed: worker (kitchen) Gender: female Personality: she loves cooking and sometimes virtually forces her food down peoples' throats, bubbly and always happy, loves athletic things,

Ok, it's reworked :D any second opinions? *hopeful look*

By the way, I posted the (very rough draft!) second part of this story... -Izzy

Ok, thanks a lot for the comment and crit, I'm trying to rework this chapter, and yeah... I was just experimenting with something new, etc. Haha yeah, I agree, this ...

hey, if you could PM me when you finish the next chapter, that would be amazing! I've noticed that you use the same phrases a lot like "not dissimilar", which ...

Oooo may I be the ghost friend? or would that not work...? Otherwise I can be a faerie worker (teenager, slightly rebellious?).

**Thank you guys so much for reading this, it means a lot to me that you do. Wanna know what would mean more to me? *eh?eh?* commenting! yes, folks, if ...

Sorry! but one thing, they seem just a bit... well, young .... to be "kissing passionately" Then again, maybe i just grew up in the wrong neighborhood :wink: Haha just ...

Wow, I'm in awe of your talent :D The sheer amazingness of that story overloaded my pet peeve brain, so I'm not going to write them up. No, seriously, though, ...

I think that it's now just about as close to perfect as you can get :D My only issue is this one: her voice a little rugged from running to ...

I liked it a lot, although the ending seemed to be a bit abrupt, maybe have her hug him or something before she leaves? I dunno, but this story was ...

This was great! Could you possibly PM me if you continue it? Thanks a million, Izzyeyore

Wow.. I'm so jealous of your talent right now! PM me if/when you post more? I'd love to read more of your work

I thought it was really well-written, etc. with just a few tiny grammar/spelling/quotation errors. However, there is something I have to say that is a bit...erm... negative: when Rom sees ...

YAY! First post! Haha, so basically all I can say is wow. I really liked that! Sometimes there were little things, like commas missing, but they're very easy to fix. ...