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Hello again! :) The white-wigged judge nodded, “ thank you . You may sit.” “I apologi z e for my actions earlier, I should have seen that my intentions were ...

Hello there, :) This was a little bit confusing. I liked that you made a link between the prologue and the first chapter with your first lines, but then who's ...

Chapter 2 James had know when he had signed up to be a police officer there were some things he was going to have to see that he would later ...

this is good, a really interesting idea, I look forward to seeing what you do with it. One thing I did notice is that you use Arial's name a lot, ...

Chance Happenings is a completed story, I finished it a few months ago, however it's not really very good and I'm not entirely happy with it so feel free to ...

Something I find always helps is to have a drink and just write whatever comes into your head. Alcohol seems to make the transition of ideas to paper much smoother.

Haha I love it!!! Totally awesome! Maybe at the end instead of "This love is not to be" change to "This love may never be" "May" gives it it's not ...

Hey there! :D This is a great poem. :) I like it a lot. I have some suggestions though. These are my opinions though. You can do with them how ...

I'm guessing this is on the subject of a car or motorcycle or something? Unless you're talking about a dog (shining red coat, all I can think of is Shiloh), ...

Hmm. Interesting. Excellent in the sense that it makes me think. You don't mean bestiality, do you? Or possibly love of a shiny red car? But then, eye of the ...

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' they say, But you they have not viewed, Your sleek curves, your slanted eyes, The sense of menace you exude. You hug ...

This works really well with the style you've chosen, it flows nicely and I really like the last two lines. Two little minor things I thought you could improve; the ...

This is good, it flows nicely and rhymes well which is something I personally find to be extraordinarily hard to well done for that. I guess my only criticism is ...

This is good, it really has potential to be a great novel. Only one criticism, you could do with some sort of breaker between scenes, it was a little confusing. ...

You seem to have a problem with tenses, you change very fast between present and past in the beginning and I think you do need to pick one and stick ...