Izzy

I met a man this morning, Dressed all in red and white, And the only words he spoke were, "Don't wait up for me tonight". His hair was white and ...

I agree with the others.I thought the overall image was really draws you in and makes you want to read more.

That was one weird old man! Was that really real? It's a gd story.Doesn't really capture your imagination though.Add more description maybe.

Chapter 1 Agon stared across the dark plains of his fathers was early morning and the sun was just peering over the horizon. Farming definately wasn't a good living.Agon and ...

It's really funny.You wanna get someone in to look at that printer.Mine does that too.Except my pets are all still in one peice.And yeh,space it out a bit more. It's ...

It's good.Very mysterious.You're right about the 2nd verse.It's quite hard to digest.I don't really get what it's about but it sounds really good

I thought it was a good story line but I think your trying to pile too many big words into it.Make it sounds like you've swallowed a dictionary.I agree about ...