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Re: Rural England's knell
Thanks for the reviews :) Yeh the break was a really good idea, I definitely think it works better to give the penultimate line more of a jolt. And the ...
Jan 13, 2012 -
Re: Light Spread Upon Those That Retreat To Their Mists
Light spread upon those who retreat to their mists. Walking through a central London Park, A festival of some description, Stalls of foreign food, tie dyed t-shirts, A small stage ...
Jan 9, 2012 -
Re: Rural England's knell
I walk along the silent winter lane, Hands in denim pockets, nostrils wide, The clouds above begin to signal rain, And yet, I feel no need to be inside. The ...
Jan 8, 2012 -
Re: Rural England's knell
That's a great idea, thanks!
Jan 6, 2012 -
Re: Rural England's knell
I walk along the silent winter lane, Hands in denim pockets, nostrils wide, The clouds above begin to signal rain, But still, I feel no need to be inside. The ...
Jan 6, 2012 -
Re: Rural England's knell
I walk along the silent winter lane, Hands in denim pockets, nostrils wide, The clouds above begin to signal rain, But still, I feel no need to be inside. The ...
Jan 4, 2012 -
Re: Rhythm
If the lyrics are to be believed, The blooming sentiments of popular culture, Then we're dancing through life on a cushion of empathy, Growing to the rhythm of love. "Love ...
Sep 27, 2011 -
Re: Siren
Thanks for the comments :) in answer to the first question it's loosely based on the story of oddyseus in the Iliad. And yeh I always get confused about capitals ...
Apr 27, 2011 -
Re: Siren
Siren on your rocky crop, With your silken feet resting on vain sediment and subservient ocean weed; Your voice beckons to them, Calls them to you with it's dulcet, Assuring ...
Apr 26, 2011 -
Re: White
This poem is about the death of my Grandma, not from cancer actually but I can see how you got that. Obviously there's a lot of emotion there but I'm ...
Oct 27, 2010 -
Re: White
Black is darkness, misery, suffering, Black is death, But all I can remember is white. White walls, white floors, white coats, White blood cell counts. The lights washed out stone ...
Oct 26, 2010 -
Re: Memory of you
I really liked this poem. Like you said, it is pretty raw, but in a way that's good, it's just bare emotion. However a bit of fine tuning may improve ...
Oct 26, 2010 -
Re: Counting Pennies
I agree with the above comment, I think a bit of imagery would really improve this poem. Like instead of saying things straight think of other ways to make it ...
Oct 26, 2010 -
Re: The Ice Sculpture
I really liked this poem, I think it creates a really vivid picture in the readers mind and I especially loved the second last stanza. I do agree with Hibiscus ...
Oct 26, 2010 -
Re: The Bubble
In the bubble it’s always calm Silent waves pulse across its translucent skin Gentle tremors in a mill pond. It’s warm, and safe Though the walls are millimetres thick They ...
Oct 24, 2010
