Incandescence

moosiegirl - What was it you thought you had written that was remotely "poetic"? This is not poetry; it is a boring story about diversity and the need for cooperation ...

TheEccentricScribe - This is a pretty standard, ineffective poor-poor-me rhapsody against an easy target. Poems like this always strike me as though the poet doesn't actually want improvement, but, ra

Hi, Jiggity-- I hear the whispers of untold tales: tendrils filling the vessel, waiting to be created. My black blood spills: the womb through which Worlds are born. Hope this ...

Hi sunshine girl - This is a collection of rambling generalities and forced, awkward rhythms, and it has virtually nothing to offer the sentient reader. It cannot be improved by ...

Hi sunshine girl - This is a collection of rambling generalities and forced, awkward rhythms, and it has virtually nothing to offer the sentient reader. It cannot be improved by ...

backgroundbob-- I'm impressed. Overall this is fine work in concept and execution. But. I feel that you have many instances of clumsiness--for instance, the first line. The title already gives ...

lexy, I can't agree that there is no basis for determining whether a poem is good or bad because of "poetic freedom". Certainly, whether or not one likes or dislikes ...

Trident-- (A much deserved response.) This is largely incoherent. I will give some in-line comments for you to consider. A flake of impure white Leaps to my desktop. Dandruff? Crystal-less ...

Hi, photoboothx

Moved.

Trident-- I commend you for trudging through this. I suppose this can be thought of as a very long character sketch--the plot becomes more apparent after Nightlife. It isn't an ...

8/10 because I'm sort of disturbed at what your sig means. "If you drill me here, I leak"? XD

Cameron-- This is nice. Some in-line suggestions: ˜This dream is tailor made, " you whisper beneath a brooding sky: weathered cornstalks set in contrast to the darker firmament. ˜Only for ...

Hi, photoboothx

Luxor-- Welcome to the YWS Poetry forums. You should be ashamed of posting this swill. Look around at what others have posted, and the type of feedback they have received, ...