Incandescence

bonafide-- Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. "lowing" means to make a sound like a cow, to moo. I don't know; I tend to think of silence ...

bonafide-- This isn’t doing anything for me. It comes across, for the most part, as a collection of tired poetic gimmicks. The parts that aren’t are OK, but they’re not ...

beyond.the.horizon - This is junk. The readers here aren't interested in spending time trying to improve stuff that can't be salvaged. It's simply a rant that belongs in your personal ...

Clau, re: "Does any one have any suggestions as to HOW I can go about doing this?" First, you should have one. Second, write. Write and write and write. Best, ...

Samar-- Unless this was intended as a joke, it failed. The linebreaks appear to be arbitrary, and when read alound it has a lurching quality, unconnected to sonics or narrative. ...

Hi, carelessaussie13, This poem is decent--it displays an understanding of at least some of the fundamental mechanics of poetry, but it suffers the fate of being swallowed up in purple ...

ANI-- There's not too much to work with here. It reads as if you pulled each stanza from a Hallmark card and vomitted it up on a Word document. For ...

Ending-Karma, This has a promising start but dissolves into a heavy handed rant before our eyes. This is compounded by hoary cliches (national annihilation, sexual disarray, political corruption) and

Siam, This is prose with linebreaks, and really, really bad prose, at that. More suitable locations for idle musings on cheating and its consequences on survival include: (1) a journal; ...

Clau, Shock value can be used appropriately. This is not such a case. You demonstrate a good handle on the English language and rhythm, but you simply fail to deliver ...

Alanna: What is this? Go away. Best, Brad

Hi, Fand - Thank God you didn't have a lesbian here. That might have made you violent. Seriously, this wanders from wonderful fun to boring in a few words, repeatedly. ...

Adnamarine - What you have posted here has about as much chance of surviving a serious edit as the sun rising in the West this morning. This is like jumbalaya ...

No. Just no. I mean that. There is a thematic issue that should be addressed which, in editing, will present a challenge far beyond changing a word here, a word ...

Collen-- "O" is for opium, no? The title, "Laudanum," is meant to invoke a Victorian sense, which I tried to follow up on in the poem: with the archiac language, ...