Incandescence

TheBluePoet, This starts out flat with the first line being demonstratively self-referential and never gaining momentum henceforth. A better medium for this might be a fiction narrative where you can ...

Sureal, Oh my goodness, no. 1. An overabundance of first-person references, much in the form of a diary entry. 2. Arbitrary linebreaks. 3. Over-modified imagery notable only for its length. ...

Lindsaroo. This is a tired narrative (e.g. The Lovely Bones ) rehashed in tired verse. Please make an effort to write from yourself, not from fictionalized/serialized accounts of other people. ...

mariahneu-- The problem isn't isolating your readers. The problem is making them want to read what you've written, which isn't happening here. My advice is to stop reaching out to ...

Tess-- After the first three strophes, the 'me' is overwhelming. Overwhelmingly bad. The reason this doesn't get off the ground is perhaps because it remains idly cycling from one abstraction ...

elephantwalrus: What was lost - About five minutes reading and thinking about this poem What was gained - Nothing This attempt to pack a moral lesson into 14 lines never ...

Alva-- I'm sorry, but this is indistinguishable from the steaming mound of inspirational poetry found far and wide across the internet. Consider dropping the clichés, rhymes, and the didactic instruc

melodicatastrophe, "living in the past, building homes inside our memories eating comfort food and picturing the days to come. because we're all made of bubble-gum flavored medicine of brightly-lit cl

Insomniac, This is not a poem. What you have posted here are best described as 'lyrics', and, for future reference, should be posted there. As far as the quality of ...

Rjjr_vectra, This is a tortured meandering on the way to a questionable point (was there a point?). There are all sorts of problems here, beginning with a first line that ...

Colleen-- Yuck. This is a collection of tired platitudes about dancing and love. It's constructed with weighted linebreaks that are at odds with the sentimental theme you're pursuing. It is ...

...you do it between the lines. ...sonics do not refer to a blue hedgehog. ...you agonize over when to hit the 'Enter' key. ...you cringe when you listen to the ...

I remember we all had to read Dr. Seuss books when I was two at this private school I went to, but the first book I really "remember" reading is ...

/removed.

**Completed**