Incandescence

jwoot14, "Pure instinct" is not a veritable excuse for murder, theft, adultery or sloppy writing. The magnitude of grammatical errors (riddling it from L1) make me wonder why I, or ...

azure, The tense-shift that occurs throughout this is enough to undercut its legitimacy as a serious attempt. Either you don't understand tenses or you were simply grabbing for rhymes that ...

Suzanne- Rhyming is predicated off of syllabic equilibrium or pattern--this exhibits neither quality in a demonstratively satisfying way. The topic does little to alleviate the mindnumbing boredom its

Lil_Pau, I, for one, would like to see more quality than quantity. All four of the poems you have just posted suffer from a rhyme scheme that render the poems ...

Dear abbisnall, Suzanne's suggestion isn't the solution: grammar is not going to save this. If there were one interesting turn-of-phrase, one less-than-clichéd caricature of modern life a la coffee s

sdshaw08-- This is mind-numbingly boring prose cut up into barely bite-sized pieces with a blade not sharp enough to cut hot butter. Throw it out. Best, Brad

Suzanne-- edit: er....not sure why that looks so bad; anyway, f(x) = x^8 - 1/12 x^7 + 1/2 x^4 - 1/12 x^3 + x - 3... Synthetic division is obvious ...

Certainly one can support the ideas of both evolution and God, just as one could certainly support the ideas of evolution and Spiderman (my preferred belief system), but that doesn't ...

**Updated**

Kylan-- A nice idea here behind the writing. Notice, though, that S1, like the strophes that follow, is weighed down with a bunch of useless adjectivial description. Fat-trimming will help. ...

alleycat13, As an exercise in rhyming, this was a decent attempt. There weren't any new rhymes I found particularly engaging or exciting, but nothing dismally worrisome, either. As for an ...

Whitewings, This is formula stuff. Rain, tears, heart, broken rhythm. Nothing new or interesting. Best, Brad

Lucifer, The first chunk of this reads like overmodified prose. I assume "twine" is the descriptor you've chosen for "hair"--a metaphor that simply clunks to its death almost before it's ...

Edward Scissorhands, I think this qualifies as a disaster. The presentation on the page adds nothing. The structure of the first sentence is a jumbled run-on that seems carelessly thrown ...

spokenfor09, That was only one of several scientific errors in your response. "Self-aware" is...what, exactly? Cognitive neuroscientists aren't even unified on this issue, and many agree that "conscio