Incandescence

Aid, in any form, is really just a reciprocative process anyway. There's nothing really "altruistic," so saying someone is doing something for themselves is like...duh. Anyway, I'm not bullied, nor ...

Well, I'm glad this poem wasn't for me , granted that it could be (I'm at 103! wootwoot!). Anyway, I already told you my thoughts on what to fix.

Hahaha. No, it's okay. I already noticed them, but the thing about Marketplace -> Mar etplace is sarcasm about the faded out cloth (i.e. some letters don't show up.).

Removed.

I have found this line does not work well: Oh, and by the way, has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Garfield only run over and then skinned ...

Likewise, maybe you and your friends are just really superficial. I've long suspected everything we say is somewhat cliche and therefore there is no real character "development" to be had.

Texan: y'all: hybrid of "you two" and "you all". ain't: hybrid of "are not" and "is not" to give the double meaning of both presently and in the future. very ...

No, no. Not that you stole the lines - you stole the rhythm and used the same rhyme scheme, which is never good. Actual crits? Well, I'm not a lyricist, ...

Purgatorio was kind of...pointless and disturbing. Once past hell, you get to go float around in an empty white box and contemplate what you did. OOOOOH now that was creative ...

:raises hand vaguely: Dante was a nutcase, and excepting Inferno, the rest of the "Comedy" sucked. This would be easier to discuss on AIM, so...yeah. If you've got it, IM ...

I am, certainly, interested. However, my applicability to your situation is your decision, so I suggest you read, or at the very least peruse, "Girls" in Romantic Fiction and some ...

Well, structurally, if you're going to replicate Dickinson's style of appending "--" at the end of lines, the poem should be much more succinct, which is, coincidentally, one of the ...

What if you teach an English class?

The last line made me...gag. You can do better than a string of words that are as empty as a gutted fish. You need an image to conclude with; otherwise, ...

:smile: